Red wine doesnt necessarily improve with age

Or rather, I’m not improving with age.

Who knew that a combination of age-related hormone changes and a lovely evening drinking a very fine South African red could make me so ill? Not a hangover – an intolerance. They may sound similar, but they are most definitely not the same thing. The 3 a.m. wake-up didn’t require Panadol and Gaviscon; it required eye drops, a box of tissues and antihistamines.

Naturally, I did some research. It turns out that while true wine allergies are rare, histamine intolerance and sensitivity to sulphites are much more common. My runny nose, itchy eyes and scratchy throat, which appeared several hours later, were apparently a textbook reaction to the histamines found in red wine. Red contains significantly more histamine than my usual tipple of rosé or white. South African reds, whilst delicious, often undergo secondary fermentation, which can naturally increase histamine levels.

As if it isn’t bad enough that everything else is heading south, I’m now ready for bed by 10 p.m., my knees seize up if I sit still for too long, and it seems hormones play a massive role in histamine sensitivity. Women are significantly more likely to develop it after the menopause. What my body was actually telling me is that it can no longer cope with a big, bold red that is high in both alcohol and histamine.

My long-held ambition of growing old disgracefully has taken quite a knock. It seems that, along with skinny jeans, blonde balayage and short shorts, full-bodied red wine has joined the ever-growing list of things I’m apparently too old for.

The good news? Further research has uncovered that vodka and tequila are both relatively low in histamine.

Growing old disgracefully may still be on the cards. I just need a bottle of Grey Goose.